East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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