For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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