I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation