Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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