how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
