I want you more than these girls want KFC
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
