If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would ride that face into the sunset
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
