I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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