he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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