guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And then he peed in my hair
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