So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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