brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you inspire me to be a worse person
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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