Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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