Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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