So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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