My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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