Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize