I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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