Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.