Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.