Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize