Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
