I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
