if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
tell me about the eggs
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