unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito