Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it