i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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