she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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