I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You took a bar mat shot.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
