And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize