the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
