Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....