also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
