I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
