You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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