i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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