hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize