pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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