I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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