you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize