I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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