My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
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God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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