I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize