stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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