But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
