His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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