eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.