respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My vagina is officially offended.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.