I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"