Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he was CRYING into my vagina
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life