Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?