I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize