Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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