in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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