It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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