Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.