If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!