I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Girls should come with a carfax report
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science